I cried several times while typing it, actually. He intended on closing his eyes and falling asleep for real afterwards, but after having felt his mattress shake for the fourth time, he opened his eyes. It was his best and only way to hide his pain. He could feel the ignorance emanating off of Bokuto's text messages. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. He sat cross-legged, with a shirt on that was two sizes too big, and a hat that looked as if it had been placed on his head without his consent. Even if it's just a little bit." He wanted the thought to leave his mind. "And that's Kenma for you" Kuroo groaned as he repositioned himself in bed, and then he smiled. Akaashi was unhappy with where he was, unhappy with what it was that he was doing. Akaashi sat in bed and wrapped a sheet around himself. He forced those words away and replaced them with new ones. He instead allowed his actions to speak for him. my theory is that if akaashi did die in the end because of a broken heart, then that "dream" he had where bokuto was healthy is probably real. "I told you I had my moments every so often.". I won't let you go. YES! He pulled a mock cool expression, but this was cut short as someone else spoke up. It had been three days since Bokuto's passing, and surely enough, sleep did not come to Akaashi as easily as it used to. "Kuroo?" ", He cocked his head to the side. Here too" His voice was weaker than before, if possible. Bokuto resisted, standing firm in place. Akaashi nodded once, and that was all that Bokuto needed to hear before he ran off to retrieve the ball. Again, if he hadn't known any better, Akaashi would have figured that Bokuto was already fast asleep. "How are you feeling, Koutarou?". At first, Akaashi thought nothing of it. "I'm supposed to be here, actually. But now I'm kind of okay with it." fandom for a reason, but reading it hit so much harder than I anticipated. I think the window will be as far as we can go." It wasn't long before Akaashi had leaned his head on Kuroo's shoulder, as he, too, fell victim to the sorrow that slowly ate him alive. Not even a sentence could get past his suffering. "That was when he learned about the disease. ", Turning his head, Bokuto looked at Akaashi. It was the last word Kuroo murmured before he stared forward as well, having nothing more to say. "I didn't think you were going to make it today." There was almost a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Shut up." He looked around and moved his fingers, trying to make out a phone. He was undone. "Things happen.". I mean, will they let you out of the hospital? Akaashi blinked slowly. "Hm? ], [You probably fell asleep. Feeling an amount of guilt build up within his chest, Akaashi pulled out his phone just as quickly as he'd hid it away. As Akaashi lay there, quiet, listening to Bokuto's strained breathing, he opened his mouth to speak. "No. The way his lips curled at the corners, the way his eyes squinted just enough so that only a glint of green could be seen. Bokuto's eyes said everything to him. He approached his bedside silently. He looked back down at the game screen. hasjhjaa currently crying. The last thing he wanted to do was wake him up, so they lay in silence for minutes on end. He opened it and pulled one out. Akaashi felt his palm- warm, full, caressing the round of his face. It was amazing. He studied the small needle that was lodged into Bokuto's forearm, eyed the thin tube that was attached to this, and followed it up to the bag of IV fluid that hung above his head. This earned a gasp from him. Sometimes when I blink you aren't there anymore" Bokuto rubbed one of his eyes, then the other, and let his hand drop to his sides. Akaashi didn't know why he had this effect on him, but he did, and that was all that mattered to him. Akaashi took a glance out the window, only to instantly throw on his clothes and toss his bag over his shoulders. You sleep if you want to. "Of course they do." After three sets, there was another hit, and another cheer from the former ace. Akaashi avoided looking into them. They find eachother again, and it's a happy ending. "He's here? After that night, things had only gone downhill from then. The room was dark, apart from the soft orange glow that his lamp gave off. Mildly embarrassed, Bokuto looked away and rubbed his arms. Judging by his still trembling hands, he knew he wasn't. After several minutes, Akaashi closed his laptop and lay back on his bed. He could practically hear the frown in his voice. He chuckles. ", "I get panic attacks when you're not around," Bokuto answered simple-mindedly. He smiled down at him. He chuckled and rubbed at his face wearily. Bokuto breathed in deeply, the sound filling the small space around them. A cold shiver curled up Akaashi's spine. He wouldn't always get answers, Akaashi was aware of this, but he would still ask him things. Surely enough, he noticed Kenma sitting in the seat next to Bokuto's bed. I'm not quite sure if he dies from a heartbreak or not though, trying to find that out for myself. I don't want to read them. "I envy you. "I am-." He was trying to tell Akaashi something else. Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed with much effort and stood on his feet. They made him feel nauseous to a point where he had to sit up in bed and swallow deep, slow breaths in order to cool himself down, and he did just that, reaching his hands up to rub at his eyes before taking a tense look around his room. Bokuto's movements were late to this, but he reacted nonetheless as he turned Akaashi's way to touch his chin to the top of his head. "They aren't really there." "I'm taking it well, or at least I think I am. "My room is this way.". He tried to aim for it at the very least, but found it difficult to. He must have looked it up at some point, right? "Please, it will only take a second. Akaashi almost smiled. So they don't mind. Akaashi closed his eyes and heaved out a sigh, feeling more and more hopeless with each passing second. He waited for an answer, but did not receive one. He stared at Bokuto with his lips parted, as if he were going to speak, but ended up speechless. From: Kuroo (Sent January 31st at 2:25 PM), [Things could be better. It took him some time to get down what he wanted to say, but after several minutes, he withdrew his hand. He's sick. Looking away slowly, Akaashi watched as Bokuto and Kuroo reappeared in the distance. He pulled the thick blanket over himself with much effort. "Goodbye.". please dont make this flop i has to rearead EVERYTHING just so that i could be in the "feels" making this video. ", Akaashi nearly scoffed. Looking up at Akaashi with eager eyes, as if he'd been asked the question out of his own free will, Bokuto gladly answered. Once they'd reached it, Bokuto resumed his usual position and wrapped the thick blanket around himself, then turned away from Akaashi. What was he to say? There was silence, and then there was a sound. "We were actually just talking about stepping outside. "You're too loud, be quiet." Get help and learn more about the design. But people never laugh at my jokes. "I would hope so." He was paler than the others who walked along in the halls, and soft, dark circles sat under his eyes. Pretty much the only thing wrong with me is that I can't sleep!]. pathfinder: kingmaker hour of rage challenge armag . They asked him questions. "Five weeks ago, he was in shambles. Cold. Just sleep, it'll pass away [Chorus] In another life I'll be well for you So we can stay up and watch our favorite movie until two In another life I'll chase after you Just like hide and. 2) After Akaashi fell asleep, he somehow transported to an alternate universe where Bokuto is alive. ", Akaashi clenched his jaw behind a mildly irritated face. Blinking, Akaashi turned his attention back to Kuroo and Bokuto. Finding a breath between his laughter, Akaashi managed to speak. He pushed the laptop away and pressed play. Akaashi had looked up from his phone and stuffed it into his jacket pocket as the energetic hospital patient made his way across the lot. He held it up to his ear and waited for the other line to pick up. Once he did, Bokuto continued. Especially before certain volleyball matches." But sometimes, he wouldn't answer certain questions, despite Akaashi asking them twice. ", Bokuto stared at Akaashi. Unconsciously, his hand grasped Akaashi's own, and he dragged it down with his lack of strength, causing both of them to startle. Akaashi pressed play, and a video of Kuroo started to play. text me when you're finished! Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. "I don't want you to grow any m-more attached to me th-than y-you already are. He ascended the steps to his room, balled his no Bokuto's blanket up into a lump, and dropped it onto his bed along with the scarf. Akaashi swallowed thickly and crossed his hands, rubbing one thumb over the other. "Good night." "Alright" He closed his eyes. "Yeah." Haikyuu!! So please Let me have this.". On that one hand, three fingers stuck out. His only intention was leaving. To not be able to sleep?". It was an awful thing to do, but Akaashi knew full well that none of it was intentional on Bokuto's part. "And my hallucinations aren't all that bad. Their walking then slowed to a halt, and it was then that Akaashi had become aware of the new individual who'd invaded his personal space. Imagine their faces when they notice I'm not even in my room." Bokuto had his head turned away. "I miss you guys. "I guess you can Just as long as you're feeling better. He pushed Akaashi back this time. That was, until he saw a familiar face. He breathed in sharply. He found it strange, how Bokuto was the one walking around when he was the sick one out of the lot. Bokuto's voice was soft, measly, and carried no force to it. He pressed his lips into a thin line and fell backwards on his bed. In seconds, his hand was calm again. "You can sit anywhere." He looked down, his hair hanging over his face. Akaashi knew this. He couldn't find his pulse. His eyes looked down at Bokuto's hands. Akaashi inhaled quietly. He reached a hand out and found Bokuto's. But as each second passed, Akaashi could feel his own pain building up more and more within him. Seeing this display unfold before him, Akaashi could barely think. to watch kuroo slowly die was a kind of pain i didn't know existed. He made his way up the same path, walking swiftly and without pause. I recommend everyone who has the heart for it, READ THIS FIC! He forced himself to stand after some time, tapping his fingers against his pants. You always do.". I'll be sure to bring my laptop when I visit. Akaashi sighed and lazily dragged his finger along the d-pad. "I know you aren't going to ask, so I'll just let you know. It took all of his power not to flinch when he'd felt the unfamiliar touch. "Akaa-sh- d-don't-" Bokuto struggled with his breathing. He touched at it lightly, twirled it shakily between his fingers, and studied it, but he never ate it. Slowly, his yellow eyes scrolled to the side to catch Akaashi's gaze. He ascended those familiar steps, said hello to the familiar faces, and rounded that familiar corner that he knew would lead him to Bokuto's room. Bokuto's laughter died down and he closed his eyes. Akaashi stared at his shoes. He didn't get up to alert the nurses, or the doctors, or anyone in the hospital. He drags you back in. "I'm going straight to sleep.". I read 5 sad hq ff cz I'm a broken idiot and the galaxy is endless and in another life hurt me on such a deep level. Pressing his lips into a thin slab of a line, Akaashi shook his head once more. "Didn't think you knew that about him. He touched his forehead to Bokuto's shoulder, which only earned a laugh from him. Bokuto flinched hard enough to make the bed shake. Bokuto tucked his hands into the pockets of his hood, his shoulders hunching. He dug his thumb nail into the side of his index finger and returned his gaze to Bokuto. Hesitating, he turned, pivoting on one foot to stare back at the small one who sat by his lonesome. Shifting in his seat, Bokuto pulled himself closer to Akaashi, one hand grasping the blanket that had been given to him. t had been some time since Akaashi set foot into that hospital. Akaashi would also murmur quiet things to him from time to time, to keep up a small, often one sided conversation. Bokuto didn't move much. Another two weeks had passed since Akaashi had seen Bokuto, but this time, he waited outside of the hospital, several meters away from the entrance. Bokuto would wince and snap back to reality the way someone would when they dreamt they were falling. The sky burned a strong, orange glow as the sun set in the distance. "They Aren't really there, are they?" Tokyo needs a little more snow now and then. He tried to hide his grin with his hand, but it was still visible from the gaps between his fingers. Bokuto grumbled to himself. Loud, though.". From: Bokuto (Sent July 29th at 11:56 PM). Apathy-kun. Bokuto nodded once more. It's ridiculous.". Why?" this broke my heart into tiny little pieces, I really don't know if I will ever be able to recover. He held the same position and felt himself dozing off "I'm sorry." He watched as Bokuto gathered it up in his arms and threw it around himself. He whispered the words. He rubbed his hands together weakly and tilted his head to the side. His hand trembled harder with each passing second, as if the movement would cause Bokuto to wake up. He leaned back in his chair. The hand that supported his weight against the windowsill trembled without pause, and his other remained outside, shaking in the cold dead of night. He couldn't stand his parents' persistent natures, but he was somewhat relieved to be out of the house, to say the least. Long time.". His head slumped against his shoulder, and both his hands rested on his stomach. He placed one hand on the windowsill and squeezed, his knuckles going white. It's Akaashi. "This is Kuroo, a close friend of mine. The movie was well over two hours in, nearing its end, and Bokuto lay on his side, curled up and clutching the blanket with what little strength he had left. "I'm fine. Guessing quickly, Akaashi muttered, "One?". Kuroo's the bigger one. "You're sick, you need medical attention. His head was cocked back as he surveyed the gym. This book was absolutely fantabulous. Just as those words left Akaashi's mouth, the clouds outside parted, allowing the setting sun's orange light to flood into the room. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Tired, but awake. If you wanna. The sound of rain pelting hard against the window snapped Akaashi back into reality. by | Jun 30, 2022 | niebaum coppola family select | brian allen rams high school | Jun 30, 2022 | niebaum coppola family select | brian allen rams high school He looked around. Akaashi pulled Bokuto back inside. "Well then, if you had a second chance" Akaashi hesitated. Without a voice, Bokuto couldn't keep up a conversation as well as he used to, no matter how hard he tried. Our teams would face each other often. "I didn't Want you to leave. The black haired male looked up from his hands. He turned around. Bokuto shifted as he lay down, sticking a leg out to kick Akaashi. the chaotic, crazy, happy-when-he's-not-in-emo-mode bokuto crying absolutely broke me. "Let's just go.". It would hurt if he did. He wore a grimace upon his reddened face. But ultimately, they would urge him to carry out the task that had been pushed on him, and one way or another, he'd do it. He opened his notes application and held the device in front of Bokuto. "Um Bokuto? People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life. "I told you I would" He all but murmured against Bokuto's shoulder. But during the other two nights, he surely did make the effort to try and lull himself to sleep, but each time he did, he either found himself stirring awake from a strange dream, or lying wide awake in the middle of the night, half expecting to receive a message from Bokuto. He observed his surroundings once again, having been fascinated by the inside of someone else's home. i felt sad abt it, im jus really confused at the ending, like was it a dream, hallucination, afterlife,etc? His answer was cold, but it did not seem to cut through the other's pleasant mood. It was because of this that he was so surprised when he felt a gentle sensation against his forehead. I can't eat. Did you see that?!" "Well, you're laughing now" He tried to hide his smile. "I have to go, Bokuto." This was not what he wanted. "I thought you were waiting for the snow. But Akaashi knew that this wasn't the case. He watched the window quietly, paying no mind to his visitor, or so Akaashi thought. Was it bad? Hang in there, alright? A genuine expression made its home on Akaashi's features, and a hand reached up to push through his raven locks. As if straight from a cartoon, out popped a tall male from Bokuto's room, with stark black hair that both hung over his face and stuck out in all directions. "I'm Holding it now.". i'm in spain but the s is silent. Take a seat." His hands rested on his stomach, the dark blanket surrounding him from behind, but slipping off just enough for his torso to be exposed. "About three hours." Surprised, Akaashi gave Bokuto his attention again. (31) 3351-3382 | 3351-3272 | 3351-3141 | 3351-3371. puppies for sale in nc under 200 associe-se. [deleted] 2 yr. ago [removed] When the screen lit up, a text message from Bokuto waited there for him. Akaashi reached his arms out and pushed Bokuto away. Looking down swiftly, Akaashi's sights locked onto his hands. i also really appreciated their dialogue and certain scenes they had together (when they play volleyball + when he sneaks out to visit + seeing the snow + "you are beautiful" through the notes app). He started on his way. They remained speechless in each other's company for several minutes before Bokuto actually spoke up, his voice sounding like nothing more than a mere whisper. Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. It never failed to comfort Akaashi. Bokuto nodded and stretched a wobbling arm out. He'd usually ask yes or no questions, ones that were easy for Bokuto to answer with a nod or shake of the head. He closed his eyes in a slow blink and kept his breathing quiet. Shut him out, don't let him in. Imagine the looks on their faces when they see me coming in from the outside. The bedsheets crumpled beneath his hands. Akaashi's chortling had been dragged out for a few seconds longer before he, too, quieted down. He was wasting time, asking for something that he did not want in the least. "He does. I know that I'm a lost cause. Normally he would have been red with irritation from the sound of such irksome persistence, but the smile that would claim Bokuto's face whenever he agreed to something would make Akaashi forget all about how frustrated he was.