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Forget about his sister being involved, is he treating you the way you want to be treated in a relationship? Wow are you me??? Is this a red flag? Cally S (13) My boyfriend of 10 months ignores me when he as his kids, doesn't ring me or answer my calls and when I do txt him doesn't reply for anything up to 8 hours later or will reply when he nos I'll be in bed. CA License # A-588676-HAZ / DIR Contractor Registration #1000009744 Why are you still in it? How long have you been together? It feels like he does not want to be with you, and that makes a lot of sense because, in those moments, he is choosing to hang out with his friends instead of you. It might also be because he wants to avoid conflict, so he won't engage with you. Make plans with him and his friends. I know its incredibly tempting if your boyfriend is ignoring you to meet fire with fire. If you keep begging for forgiveness you give him all the power and control. You can do something to avoid being ignored when he is with his friends. Girlfriends, boyfriends, or spouses do not stand a chance. You're all insecure, You sound like a horribly entitled person. He may deny that's what he's doing but please try not to let him gaslight you. Youll feel more comfortable knowing that you are physically present and can see each others facial expressions and body language, and hear their tone of voice. Honestly youre young and you will get over it if you have to break up. Last Updated March 5, 2023, 1:57 am, by If you are in physical danger, call 911. Never give an ultimatum. We went to a mall and we went to all the stores she wanted to and then left. If your boyfriend is getting mad at you every time you wear revealing clothes, talk about it. Talk with him, assure him that you understand she's family, but be sure to inform him that you feel insecure (which is totally fine and natural to voice) and that you want to spend more time alone with him. But its important not to overreact and send him a flurry of messages. Maybe youre considering too much of the bad instead of recognizing the good. And none of them are nicer to me than to their partners. Youre young and need to hear this now: STOP BEING THE COOL GIRLFRIEND. If he makes an excuse for why he cant meet but doesnt suggest an alternative, then it seems to confirm your suspicions. In fact even on first dates people find it fucking weird when people bring friends if it's not a double date so are you feeling okay? Pestering him takes away your dignity and will make you look desperate. I can totally see how this is a nasty problem to have. Chalk it up to experience, use it to figure out what you will accept in the future and move on , But like what if he's in love with his sister. Not excusing his behavior, but they need to talk about what's bothering op She's not wrong to feel how she does. She might even opine on the idea of an open relationship. DO NOT sacrifice yourself to make husbands for other people. That's not normal or healthy behaviour. If he doesn't know how to balance his attention or be fair and inclusive of his company, then he's hardly a winner. Something my ex knew I didn't enjoy. A lot of the time we make assumptions about how our partner is feeling. Basically what you dont want to do is accuse him of his actions because he might not see them the way you do. If it bothers you so much, you should talk to him. But if he was inviting his best friend along to every single date it'd be weird. The fact how he treats his sister shows that he KNOWS how to do it he's just not doing it to you. No its not bf time if he hasnt made the effort to spend quality time with you. Relationship conflict is very rarely exclusively one persons fault. Last Updated February 14, 2023, 2:58 pm, by I really love it. Taking responsibility for your part in the argument shows respect for yourself and your boyfriend. (Bonus: if it isnt, how do I avoid ending up where I am now. But shes my mom but shes my sister are always such frustrating responses to hear because its often them saying but hers and my relationship is more important to me than yours and mine, Dont accept the family excuse because nobody chooses their family, but he chose you and thats supposed to mean something. If it started quite abruptly, like in a month or "hey, we're just two attractive people that barely know each other", it's normal to put family or best friends above everyone else :P It would be a huge turn off for me if someone that I just started dating felt insecure about my relationship with family or friends that I had for over years. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. Communication could improve things a lot, you just need more 1 on 1 time with him & more of his attention; and that's okay. I'd like a guy who is kind to me, doesn't think it's funny to insult ppl & joke at their expense, genuinely enjoys hanging out with his gf 1-on-1 and actually cares if she is enjoying their dates. School, work, hobbies, friends, family, and a whole host of commitments need to be squeezed into 24 hours. : r/TrueOffMyChest. Never ever date someone for their potential. Now on behalf of the bf, youll probably come off being a bit crazy since its literally his beloved sister. Im Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. This isn't the case with us so it's best we part ways now. It's family so you've already lost. Trust me you are always gonna be the third wheel. Nobody is perfect and there is nothing here screaming "deal breaker". If she's hurt by it she has to tell him. Just walk away an break up. The point is that even though we seem to be constantly available, this is an unfair expectation. "Sorry dude, I like you but this isn't really a relationship and I need a bit more than what you're offering.". In either case, OP needs to tell her bf she's feeling like a third wheel and go from there. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see whether he is really ignoring you or he simply prioritizes his daughter over his girlfriend. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. Strike two, you and you're done for the day. This is basically the words I'd be tempted to use. It will also help you maintain your own sanity. I never have to question my place in his life. That's unfortunate. Theres nothing wrong with a brother and sister being super close. If his silence persists and you cant think of any reason for it, then it could be because hes tired of talking to you. And this could be the reason he acts differently around them than he does around you. Ignoring someone is never compatible with true love. I would talk to him of you love him, but to be honest I think he is the type of person who is always going to put her first. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. As a lot of people have given their opinions Ill try and give some short bits of proactive advice, Perhaps start initiating going out. If you decide to stay together, then you need to set boundaries. Its almost like the sister is the other woman. It would help if you discussed your relationship expectations with your girlfriend. Bring on the downvotes! F that noise. I understand thats his sister, and for the aspect of it, it seems that they are very close. I'm sorry but I kind of feel like he has checked out of this relationship and is too chicken to break up. My boyfriend and I went to get gas the other day and since his sister was still asleep and didnt want to get up and go, he made us stop by this shop and he bought her a random pair of socks with dogs on them just because. What to do when your boyfriend ignores you for days is probably going to be very different from what you do when he has been ignoring you for weeks. But you can legit just leave this dude. However, lately he has her play with us every single time and she of course wants to play all of the hard stuff that I find very un fun because Im not that good and they leave me behind without explaining what to do. Or WORSE!! Be very clear. She often complained of the same thing that he . He'll just sense a repulsion to you that he can't explain. It's super easy to go witch hunting and split couples over anything when at this time it's important to find empathy wherever you can. OP isn't asking for him to ignore his sister altogether. Boyfriend Makes No Effort on My Birthday(Why & What to Do). Yeah, I'm biased, but you all are pretty young. You can do better. Like I said, it is not HER responsibility to tell him and teach him oh hey can you not be hurtful and rude for someone elses amusement at my expense? Why bother at that point. while it's good that he is trying to maintain a bond with his sister it's also important to still be attentive to his girlfriend's needs otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship with someone? He needs to take care of you too. He wont understand the issue as he is disrespecting you by not asking for your preference and paying little attention to you but rather he will interpret it as you trying to question or influence their relationship. Can you remember a time we went out just us? But at the end of the day, ignoring someone giving them the cold shoulder, ghosting, stonewalling, shunning is a destructive pattern of behavior in a relationship. Yes, it applies to certain circumstances, but NOT all! I don't see how any potential backfire could be worse than their current relationship. over every issue. A little bit of time and distance can work wonders in several situations when your boyfriend is ignoring you. His actions sound weird. by ; in john and livi come dine with me; on June 29, 2022 . (Except weird sexual stuff. If youre in the dark about whats going on, send a message like: Is something wrong?. Definitely talk to him, but really, if you are not enjoying this then just leave. Nobody is saying she needs to teach him how to do those things. If this describes your situation, fear not: there are steps you can take to get him to open up and start introducing you more often! But your relationship needs to have equal footing and both your needs met. If he's kind and caring, they can work it out. I wouldn't bother talking to him about his relationship with his sister - no matter how you put it it'll be too easy to say you're crazy and jealous. Thats the worst fucking advice I have ever heard. Most guys aren't going to tell you this reason to your face. there are silver linings sis :) someday your boyfriend will find a girl who makes him want to give her his everything. So the solution is to make it clear to him that when hes ready to talk, you are here. The first reason your boyfriend may be ignoring you when he's with his friends is that he may feel like you always need his attention, and he may feel pressured to give it to you. That stuff never leaves you, if thats how you were raised. How quickly you expect a reply will probably depend on your texting habits in the past with one another. You're crazy. Chances very high he will know his sister forever. "I" statements are a good way to do this. Having a boyfriend isnt worth it if youre not even enjoying yourself. Texting can quickly create misunderstandings. Here are a few things you can do if you feel like your boyfriend ignores you when his daughter is around. You would deserve much better. You need to open the lines of communication and speak to your BF about how you feel. Its worth considering if youre being overly sensitive or demanding. Firstly,introverts need a lot of time alone to recharge and process their thoughts before being receptive again and engaging with others. My Boyfriend Ignores Me When He's With His Friends [SOLVED]. I agree. But then he got behind on his school work. If he hasnt had time to respond, it makes you appear quite needy. Your boyfriend isn't ignoring you because he doesn't care about you or because he wishes you weren't therehe's trying to fit in with his friends, and he doesn't know how to do that with you around. In non-poly relationships, 3s a hell of a crowd. You're jealous of his bond with his sister & that makes you insecure. Here are a few things you can do if you feel like your boyfriend ignores you when his daughter is around. Maybe you're a little stressed out about it and wonder if you're being too sensitive. If he does eventually respond, then you can decide whether you need to have a conversation about his slow reply and what it means. I dont think youre being too insensitive or insecure. You will of course need to spend time with his sister on the odd occasion since they have a close relationship. This reminds me of the Friends episode where Danny (the guy who gets fogged) is wayyyyy too close to his sister to the point they bathe together as if theyre in a relationship. If you get the feeling he is ignoring you, confront him.